


Water and Fire

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-20
Updated: 2003-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:42:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's point of view after the beautiful love scene at the end of episode #202.





	Water and Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

He is asleep, his head is resting on my chest, his ear pressed to my heart.

I can smell his hair, how I missed that smell. His soft hand is still resting in mine; I would have normally let go after he fell asleep, but not tonight. I don't want to let go now. In fact, I never want to let go of his hand. 

I missed those hands so much for the past two months, those youthful hands exploring every inch of my body and lingering in the sensitive spots that only he would know to give special attention to. 

I also missed those beautiful lips of his and the way they feel pressed against my own. 

However, as many times as he has shared my bed physically it had never been quite like it was tonight. 

This had been different. For the first time in my life I felt something beyond physical pleasure during sex. What was it that I felt? Well, I admit I care for him, is that what I felt? While we were kissing, and our fingers were locked and I was gently moving my cock inside that beautiful ass of his I felt something more. I wanted to be as close to him as was physically possible, so I penetrated him deeply, but very slowly. But as I did it was not just physical closeness that I experienced, it was an emotional high that was unlike anything I had ever felt. I know he felt it too. We came together and as we did, I felt like my soul was being pulled from by body and colliding into his. Afterward, neither of us spoke. 

Justin rolled over onto his other side, so that he was facing me. He placed his hand on my face and stared into my eyes. I did not look away from him, instead I stared back, allowing myself to dive into the glorious blue sea of his eyes. Deep inside me a small boy was begging to swim forever in those unknown waters. Instinctively, I began to struggle with the boy, I reminded him he was not safe there, it was too free, too unguarded. Just then Justin brushed his nose gently against mine. An act that would have made me cringe if it had come from anyone else, but with him it seemed natural. I kissed the tip of his nose and he smiled at me. The type of smile that makes him worthy of the nickname, Sunshine. He then rested his forehead against mine and I imagined our minds melting together the way our bodies often do. 

I felt so overwhelmed with emotion that I wanted to throw all my fears into that fire that existed between our minds and reveal my inner most thoughts and desires to him. The small child was pushing me forward pleading with me to let the fear burn away until there was nothing stopping that connection. But, when my lips parted to speak the words that would finally turn those fears into ashes, no words came out. How could I explain what I was feeling, when I did not understand it myself?

So, I said, "Let's get some sleep" and rolled over onto my back. I was safe again; the fire and the water had disappeared. It was then that Justin placed his head on my chest and his hand remained entwined with my own. I can handle this physical connection with him, it seems to happen naturally. However, when it comes time for emotions then I feel like I have no control and the struggle begins. I wonder if he knew all these thoughts racing through my mind would he be the one who was scared and pulling away? That thought sends a shiver down my spine and I pull him closer to me and squeeze his hand. 

These sort of physical expressions are the only way I know how to claim him as my own. So, I will stick to what is safe for me, that way I won't fail and I will never drown or get burned.


End file.
